Despera
by Vagabond J
Summary: How far would you go to save a life? Would you, could you, risk everything? In the midst of uncertainty three cats vie to rescue the life of someone each feels they are responsible for. One cat has a secret. One cat has a death wish. One cat has the power to destroy everything. Who are they? Neither knows nor will they figure it out in time before it's too late.
1. Prelude

"_I'm the one that hurt him."_

"**I'm the one that abandoned him."**

"_**I'm the one who did this to him."**_

"_I'm responsible."_

"**I'm responsible."**

"_**I'm responsible."**_

* * *

><p>"Are you sure this is what you want to do?"<p>

The hesitant voice of the ThunderClan medicine cat cut through the slight fog of the breaking dawn. Morning dew adorned the grass and faintly sparkled under the sparse light of daybreak before becoming smudged and trampled upon by the score of paws that padded across the camp.

If a cat was to have had poked their head out of their den at that exact moment, they certainly would have discovered quite the odd sight. An ensemble of varying different sizes and rank of cats were making their way across the camp headed towards the medicine den. The two in front were apprentices and the smallest of the bunch; however the similarities of the two she-cats ended there.

One was cream and white with soft, but puffy fur that somehow made the more petite she-cat appear even smaller than she actually was. The tan brown she-cat besides her with short fur had a slightly bigger, but longer and slender form that would've taken another additional her to make up the disparate difference. Her expression was hardened, eyes narrowed and rapt with focus in sharp contrast to the anxious look that gleamed from the cream she-cat.

"I feel I have to agree with Willowshade on this," a strong voice spoke up from amongst them, causing the group to halt.

The possessor of the authoritative tone belonged to that of a burly tom with black markings etched across the bottom of each eye, Hawkstar. His sharp eyes shifted across the three cats before him, two apprentices and one fairly young warrior.

"Must it just be the three of you that go? I'd certainly feel more comfortable if a few more cats were joining you on this journey."

The young warrior, a dark tabby named Dusktail, was the one to reply. "We're the three cats most closely attached to this situation. If we can't be the ones to bring him out of it, nothing can. That's what you said anyway, right, Brightpaw?"

He turned to address the cream colored medicine cat apprentice who immediately shrunk under his gaze. The medicine cat apprentice though talented wasn't the most sociable cat in the Clan, and even less forward and immensely shy when made the center of attention.

Brightpaw fidgeted under the attention of the others on her before managing to reply in a meek and strained voice, "Yes. It has to be us. I-I'm certain of it."

"Notice how she barely sounds certain herself," Sandpaw sardonically pointed out, causing Brightpaw to wince in response.

"Ease off, Sandpaw," Dusktail ordered to which the tan she-cat snorted and turned her back to the rest of them.

Dusktail could only shake his head in annoyance and cast a sympathetic look in the direction of Brightpaw, who immediately turned her back to him as well.

He looked helplessly towards Hawkstar and Willowshade for support, but the leader merely shook his head in response.

"If the three of you are going be to together, than you'll have to learn how to lead them alone. As you said, no one else can follow where it is you're going."

"And that's the problem I have with it!" Willowshade interjected in. "Though underdeveloped, I trust in Brightpaw's ability to get you there safely enough. The trouble comes afterwards when you're all left to the mercy of whatever befalls you there. If something terrible happens, I won't be able to bring the three of you back. You'll be trapped along with-"

"That doesn't matter!" Sandpaw sneered, her eyes and fangs flashing in the light. "I don't care what's there. Do you hear me? I'm not coming back without him."

She stood defiant and alight with vigor. Her form was rigid and unmoving as she glared at the rest of them, appearing coiled and ready to strike if one of them dared say anything in resistance. Seeing that her words went unchallenged she turned, whiffing, and stalked on forward alone into the medicine den.

The rest stood watching in resolute silence after her departure, a mild buzz of admiration for the abrasive cat's determination exuding from the three older cats. It seemed she had settled the score for all of them.

"I suppose it's time then," Dusktail spoke up, nodding his head towards Hawkstar and Willowshade respectively. "I promise I will do everything within my power to ensure everyone's safety and all of our return. You have my word."

Hawkstar fixated the young warrior under his gaze, glowing oddly, before briefly dipping his head to him. "I send you with StarClan's will and in ThunderClan's name. Good luck."

Hawkstar parted from them, leaving just Dusktail, Willowshade, and Brightpaw left in the middle of the camp just as the tip of the sun could be seen rising just above the azure horizon. Dusktail stood observing its ascension for just a moment before motioning to Brightpaw that it was time to move.

Followed closely behind by Willowshade, they entered the cool mint scented interior of the medicine den. It was fairly spacious in expanse able to hold six or so cats at any given time. Willowshade took the lead position of the group, despite the fact that all of them were aware of where it was they were headed and began to navigate them through the den.

They moved towards the back in a section closed off from the main portion of the den and into a small enclosed area where they found Sandpaw awaiting their arrival. Her tail gave the faintest of twitches to show that she acknowledged their presence, but otherwise the majority brunt of her attention lay on the still form of a slumbering gray tom that lay at her paws.

No matter how hard her outer exterior may be there was nothing even she could do to suppress the sorrow that swam through her eyes at the sight of him. Her expression was enough to make a large lump form in the pit of Dusktail's throat.

"Brightpaw, a moment please," Willowshade whispered softly to her apprentice.

The medicine cat apprentice turned to stare uncertainly into the eyes of her mentor. She could've been looking at her reflection in the water with how much Willowshade's expression mirrored her own. She was just as terrified as she was.

There was a lot that neither of them knew. Brightpaw was taking a great risk by attempting what it is she was currently doing. There wouldn't be room for another chance if they failed.

"If it becomes too much," Willowshade weakly began. "If things get wildly out of hand for you three to handle, please, I beg you. Don't hesitate to pull out." Her eyes were pleading as she said this. "Having one cat like this is hard enough. Three more and I'm not sure I'll be able handle it."

A moment later Willowshade looked away in shame. "I'm sorry, I'm being selfish. I should've not said that. You're doing everything in your power to save a life, the main goal of any medicine cat. Duty to our Clanmates comes first."

Brightpaw felt a knot tighten in her stomach. Despite knowing how frightened her own apprentice was about this Willowshade was still allowing her to go. She knew deep in her heart that this was something that Brightpaw had to do. That this was something that only she could do. And despite her misgivings about it all, she needed Dusktail and Sandpaw with her if there was any hope of succeeding.

Brightpaw closed her eyes and briefly pressed against Willowshade, like a kit to its mother, savoring the familiar and welcoming scent of herbs that clung to her fur while saying a hopeful goodbye at the same time. She broke away then, turning to face her two companions, and telling herself that they were going to bring him back.

"Gather around and lay down," Willowshade said to Dusktail and Sandpaw. "At the same time I want you to both be touching Brightpaw and the body."

"This _**body**_ has a name," Sandpaw glowered at her.

Willowshade cast an appeasing look. "My apologies, Sandpaw. Please gather around Stormpaw and allow Brightpaw to do the rest."

The three cats stepped forward and surrounded the prone form of Stormpaw. In tandem, each cat laid down besides the body, with Brightpaw centered in the middle of them all.

"Close your eyes and allow yourself drift. You'll all be waking soon. I wish you luck and a speedy return. Be careful."

Brightpaw slowed her breathing to a steady hum and allowed its tranquil nature to seep over into the others. She continued this process slowly, very slowly until all their consciousness began to ebb away and fade off, redirecting into the psyche of Stormpaw.


	2. Chapter 1

Foggy landscapes blurred in and out of existence, rematerializing and dematerializing back into oblivion right before Brightpaw's eyes ever had a chance to adjust to any one scene for more than a brief second. Her head was spinning. For that matter, so was everything else.

She was tumbling down an aimless black expanse of nothing, feeling the sharp whistle of air whip through her ears as she fell with velocity. Terror clawed at her chest as she pawed helplessly at the darkness around her. There was nothing to grab, nothing to halt her descending plummet, no one to help her.

_Alone._

Brightpaw was alone. She was trapped, forever alone to fall along this impenetrable shroud until the end of all time. This thought crescendo through her mind, rippling off of the walls of her skull in waves.

No! Brightpaw screamed internally. Her attempts became frantic now, lashing out directionless into an empty void.

"_You did this to me." _A low, mournful voice began to rasp inside her head. _"It's your fault I'm here. Your fault I'm trapped."_

Brightpaw tried to scream out that wasn't true, but her voice was lost to the void. She tried again only for the event to repeat itself. Her heart was hammering dangerously inside her chest now as she fearfully tried to plead out to the familiar voice.

I'm here to make things right! I want to save you! These words that she so desperately wanted to cry out with went unsaid and lost to the abyss, but she continued anyway, screaming them throughout her entire being. I'm here, Stormpaw! I'm right here-

She felt a sharp jerk in her stomach, and then everything around her blurred and then sizzled as an explosion of vibrant color suddenly came streaming right into her eyes.

"Brightpaw! Hey, Brightpaw!"

Someone was calling out to her. It was close. Extremely close. Blinking the sudden onslaught of color from her eyes and allowing them to adjust to the newfound light, Brightpaw was awed to find the clear, azure sheen of the sky stretched out in front of her. And nearby, just barely visible in the sight of her peripheral, Dusktail's worried face hovered over her.

"Brightpaw, are you okay?" he called out to her, his eyes clear with concern. "You were the only one of us not to wake up when we arrived."

Arrived? Brightpaw gave a soft grunt of surprise to feel solid earth beneath her body. She moved her body slowly, taking time to get her wits about her, as Dusktail held a few steps back watching her closely.

"I think we've made it." She heard Dusktail say this as she cautiously stood up on her own paws. "This is it, right? We're inside Stormpaw's dream world."

Brightpaw gazed at the surroundings around her and felt her breath catch.

They lay in an outreaching, lush field of wild grass with sprouting stalks from the ground that stretched up as far as the undersides of Brightpaw's ears. A sharp, pungent scent filled her nostrils as she gazed around in wonder.

Was it true? Had they actually made it? There was no other way to explain the warm clearing they were in, except… Brightpaw glanced up into the sky, looking for something that shouldn't be there.

Her eyes scoured the sky and with a click of confirmation within herself, Brightpaw saw that it was indeed true. There was no sun in the sky. They light of the clearing were completely artificial. They had made it into Stormpaw's dreamscape. She looked to Dusktail and gave him a quick nod.

Relief washed over Brightpaw as her heart gave a tiny jump of jubilation at having crossed the first border of resistance. We've made it, she thought in hushed joy. I have the chance to make everything right now. I can fix it.

"Well that answers one question, but where exactly are we in Stormpaw's dream?"

Brightpaw jumped at the sudden sound of another voice from behind her. Sandpaw stalked from around her back, casting an annoyed glance in her direction before focusing her attention on Dusktail and reiterating her previous question.

Dusktail observed their surroundings, his face scrunching slightly. "I'm not entirely sure." He turned towards Brightpaw. "What do you think, Brightpaw? Any ideas?"

Having Dusktail's searching gaze upon her was enough to get Brightpaw's pelt itching. Unnerved, she subconsciously shifted from paw to paw while hastily rummaging around her memory to put a location to this field.

On closer inspection the clearing did appear familiar to her. There was a tingle running across her paws that told her that she'd been there before. Yes! She had definitely been here before, and with Stormpaw of all cats. This was where-

"Listen! Do you hear that?" Sandpaw suddenly said, drawing Brightpaw and Dusktail's attention. "That sounds like Stormpaw!"

Dusktail and her ears shot up in surprise. Stormpaw? Was Sandpaw serious? Brightpaw studied the brown she-cat's rigid frame and how her ears were erect and tuned to a frequency that she couldn't pick up on.

She swiveled her attention towards Dusktail who, like Sandpaw, had assumed a rigid stance and was now straining to hear what it was that Sandpaw was trying to. Joining in, Brightpaw swiveled her ears outward so that she could attain her maximum level of clarity. With a slight prick of amazement she realized that Sandpaw was right. Now that they were all tuning theirs ears to pick up on sound, Brightpaw could just catch the faintest hint of a low whispering. Whether or not it was Stormpaw remained to be seen.

Brightpaw zoned in on the low voice, blocking out every other sound and noise until only the voice was the singular thing she heard echoing throughout her body. What was it saying?

"_One cat has a secret… One cat has a death wish… One cat has the power to destroy everything. Who are they?"_

A chill slithered down Brightpaw's spine, crinkling her fur, and she tumbled back yowling in shock as Dusktail and Sandpaw reeled back in similar fashions. Bewildered and frightened, the three cats all stared at each other with outstretch eyes.

Without warning, Sandpaw suddenly turned on Brightpaw, eyes flashing and teeth bared as she confronted the medicine cat. "What was that? Tell me!"

Brightpaw scuttled backwards, panicked and confused as the brown she-cat bore down her with visceral.

"Is it some kind of prophecy? You're the medicine cat here. Decipher it!"

Dusktail suddenly materialized between the two of them, buffering away Sandpaw's onslaught as Brightpaw stood behind him in a frazzled state.

"Lay off her," he commanded, steadily meeting Sandpaw's incensed glare with calm. "Brightpaw's the wrong cat to be asking questions about what we just heard. To be honest that sounded nothing like a prophecy. It was more like a warning."

Sandpaw wilted in her outrage, visibly frowning. "A warning about what?"

"A warning about what will happen if we proceed possibly. Remember what it said," he urged to the both of them. "One of us has a secret, maybe here for a different reason than what we say we are. Another of us apparently has a death wish. It could be that one of us came here with the intention of dying. Or at least wanting to die," he quickly added, seeing the aghast look of horror dawn across Brightpaw's face. "The last one is what I'm most concerned by however. One of us has some kind of power to make it so none of us come out of this."

"So you're trying to say is we can't trust each other?" Sandpaw stated.

"I'm not entirely sure," he replied gravely. "But those words are unsettling either way we look at them. If there's anything anyone of us has to say before we venture any further, than say it now. We can't afford to be hiding anything from each other."

Silence stretched out among them as each cat glanced at the other. There was a sense of tension in the air around, but otherwise no one made move to speak which caused Dusktail to sigh out loud in frustration. Brightpaw avoid his gaze entirely while Sandpaw defiantly glared back at him, daring him to call her out.

"This isn't going to work if we don't talk to each other," Dusktail tried to convey to Sandpaw. "For there to be any trust we're going to have to be upfront with each other now."

Sandpaw snorted. "Funny, I don't hear you revealing the real motive that you've come here for!"

Dusktail stiffened in shock. "What do you mean? I'm here for the same reason that you are. I want to get Stormpaw out of here!"

The bickering between the two cats began to increase in severity as Brightpaw looked on in dismay. This wasn't the way things were supposed to turn out! There was too much at stake for them to be wasting away time on petty arguments, although Brightpaw had to admit that the words of that voice had shaken her as well.

One of them had a secret, the other a death wish, while the last of them had the power to supposedly ruin everything. Each one of them seemed a recipe for disaster and she could only wonder worriedly which one applied to her. Probably what terrified her most was that she had a gloomy idea which one might apply.

Brightpaw suddenly felt a stinging pulse vibrate through her tail. She whipped around to find the source of the issue as choked by a yowl. Her heart skirted to a halt in her chest and she took a fearful step back into the others.

"W-e-we need to go," she squeaked out to the others, drawing their attention. "It's not safe here."

The two others followed the source of the terrified she-cat's gaze and spotted what she had. Lurking near the outskirts of the clearing was a cloud of immense darkness creeping near them. The sight of it immediately reminded Brightpaw of the vast dark space she'd been endlessly falling through before she had woken up. She could only dread over the meaning of what its close presence meant for the rest of them.

Dusktail stared at the encroaching darkness with a look of utter confusion. "What is that?"

"Something bad," Brightpaw answered in a hushed whispered.

Dusktail gave one glance to the medicine cat apprentice and then back at the creeping darkness. "Good enough for me. Let's move out you two."

He turned without a further word, and Brightpaw and Sandpaw were amiss not to be tailing directly behind him as the three of them collectively darted away with the smog of darkness slowly trailing off in their path, engulfing everything that it came into contact with.

It was happening faster than Brightpaw had envisioned it would. There would be no time to dawdle anymore. They needed to get Stormpaw free of this place, and fast.


End file.
